You're Cordially Invited to...

Since Thursday I've been in Leicester, since last month I've been preparing my Saree's and blouses, since Monday I've been packing and since last year I've known that my cousin Kamal is to marry his girlfriend Dimple and it all went down last week. Indian weddings are long painful, cultural and religious events.....and we don't have wedding planners or hired help - we have family to come cook, clean, serve food and in my families case on hand and foot making sure the father of the groom don't get wasted every night....KMT... *Side eye - it was all good fun but it wasn't without its drama's.

the family

The mendhi

My brother suited and booted

Kamal and sisters Nitu and Kirti in the wedding car

Me in a Saree.......but of course

Random snaps

Saw this the other day walking through London....

The way you make me feel....

I've been in Leicester for my cousin Kamals wedding to his long term girlfriend Dimple. Congradulations to the newly weds, pics and details to follow this post. But let me address something that has left me ina somber mood and ... I dont know whether to laugh or cry

I was in my cousins kitchen when my BB went off at 23:14pm....

MICHAEL JACKSONS DEAD!!
MICHEAL JACKSONS DEAD!!

pause....side-eye...WFT???

I turned on the news and there is was Michael Jackson - IN COMA, but the LA times were already were already confirming his death and then it was all too true. I was heartbroken and I still cant get my head round it yet, Michael Jackson is a star, a musical legend. I was a huge fan and lucky enough to have had the chance to have seen him in concert Dangerous Tour in the summer of 1992...yeaaah!!!!! (So Thankful now)

He was the soundtrack to my childhood and growing up in the 80s, Smooth Criminal is one of my favourite short films. He was everyones wacko uncle and I truly feel like I've lost a family member. There's so much I could say but what with the reports in papers and on the news channels, I risk over kill...

I love you Michael, there is and never will be anyone like you. Your memory will continue on through your music and your legacy continue to heal the world ....may you rest in peace.

Off The Wall (1979)

Bad (1987)

Thriller (1982)

Dangerous (1991)

6 Golden Elephants ......but of course!

RIP Michael Jackson 1958-2009

I NEED to see this

I love Shia LeBeouf and I've got the biggest lesbian hard on for Megan Fox'y -grrrowoooarrr!

I've heard mix reviews and someone even tried to spill the beans on the plot, but I'm still curious! I've been such a Busy Little Elephant this week I've not had a chance to see this yet.....as soon as I'm free I'm taking my nephew to see it! ...EXCITED!!!!

...Marques de sade

For someone who loves to smile and is always skinning teet' I hate the one health professional who can maintain my glorious gnasher's! One in ten people avoid dentists through phobia.....but of course! I have an appointment today and I'm already getting bubble guts from the nerves...*parp, oops!

To inflict pain on someones mouth, to a patient squirm as attack with a drill and then to be paid to do it.....sounds like evil at work, don't you think? There's something very torturous about the dentist - sadistic even....This video explains why I don't like dentists in the form of music, you gotta love Steve Martin




When I was 15 or 16 I took part in my high school production of Little Shop of Horror's, I played Crystal, lead shangrila girl (the same part as Tisha Campbell Martin) it was the last production before end of school, I had a short blonde wig and I opened the play with a solo, choreographed some dances, I had a huge crush on the guy who played the lead, I thought I was soo fly wearing blue mascara.....ahh memories!

...he makes a point

"Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family, Choose a fucking big television. Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed-interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suit on hire purchased in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sittin' on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rottin' away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats that you've spawned to replace yourself. Choose a future. Choose life...

...But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin? So why did I do it? I could offer a million answers, all false. The truth is that I'm a bad person, but that's gonna change, I'm going to change. This is the last of that sort of thing, and I'm cleanin' up and I'm movin' on, going straight and choosin' life. I'm lookin' forward to it already. I'm going to be just like you: the job, the family, the fucking big television, the washing machine, the car, the compact disc and electrical tin opener, good health, low cholesterol, dental insurance, mortgage, starter home, leisure-wear, luggage, three-piece suite, DIY, game shows, junk food, children, walks in the park, nine to five, good at golf, washing the car, choice of sweaters, family Christmas, indexed pension, tax exemption, clearing the gutters, getting by, looking ahead, the day you die...."

...........................Mark 'Rent-Boy' Renton's

...just for Laughs

Another Level were a good, British, commercial RnB boy band who had some hits back in the 90s. But then kinda fell off the edge of the earth one day never to be seen again, which was disappointing cos they were good!

Bobak was the hot one - period!!!!! I found this on my search for Bobak *giggle.
If you ever tell me you though Dance Bowers was hot, I'm gunna make slap you and then make you watch this video.




Ooooooooooooo.........k! What the fizzle has this vizzle got to do with the sizzle?

Ski goggles, 5-cows-worth-of leather, matrix style trench's, did someone forgot to put a left-eye style black rectangle on the other side of dude's face? And Dane Bowers in a cowboy hat and leather chaps over biker trousers???? Do not even get me started

... I'm cringing so hard I'm getting a muscle spasm at the same time....

......No body is pre-approving me!!!!

Summer time can only mean one thing; I'm not talking the garage music, spying for boys or sun tans.......its Indian wedding season.

Indian wedding's are a beautiful thing and great fun to attend. You catch up with friends old and new, eat, drink and be merry. But behind the glossy mandap (like a gazebo) and greasy catered food there is a unspoken culture of desperate mother's ready to get their son or daughter married off in the hopes that they will stop sucking at the tit and move the fuck out!!!!!!! The perfect setting for this is of course an Indian wedding; everyone's dressed up looking their best, everyone's kinda related or a family friend and it's a wedding so there's naturally love in the air ....mixed with the smell of 100 Saree's imported from India..........its kinda of like a musky smell!?!?!

Weddings are also a great excuse for all the mothers with daughters who are of a suited age - anything between 23 and 43 (some people find it hard to find a match)- to flock to Green Street, Southall and Eailing Road to consume copious amounts of saris , matching bangle, bhindis and even decorated pins to hold the illusion it all together. All in the hopes that when attending one of many wedding's this summer you'll be spotted by some of a pilot, doctor, dentist or city banker; he will see you all dressed up and will then nod at his mother and give her the sign. She by now has already set the wheels in motion and has gone through ten people to find out who you are....if their lucky by the end of the day they will know your bust size, what you ate for dinner on Monday and what you earnt last year after tax......WTF!?!?!.....No body is pre-approving me!!!

I sound like a moany bitch but really its all good fun. I F**king LOVE to play dress up and tease those hopeful mothers and their sons into thinking I would actually be a respectable choice cos I have almond eyes, long hair and a warm smile =presentable! Then they hear - she works in media, stays out late and has tattoos = unstable and wild.......but of course!

Luckily my ma has never pushed me into marriage and understands that you can't tame this beast. Back to the point of this blog....I went shopping in preparation for Indian wedding season with Ma and we spent 4 hours choosing saris, some materials, blouse pieces, lining and some matching accessories. I'm an Indian girl through and through. From the way I walk, talk, dress, to my cooking and cleaning and all the way up to the way I wear my hair.....and I love to shop I ain't looking to get married just yet.....check it out!

Fabric and material shop....goes on for yards....hehe yards, gedit?!

bangels galore....they even had them hanging from the ceilings

Bhindi's

Saree's

More Sarees

How to be a pefect little indian girl kit for those of us who has lost touch....I think this is a perfect little pack ;)

they had my name .... English shops never do!

Sweet me!

Tweet tweet!

btw....did I mention im on Twitter

adventures and ramblings via www.twitter.com/missmistry

Recruitment Spam??

Off the back of using online recruitment sites I get one of these emails

From:
"The Team" workingsolutionstraining@gmail.com
RE: Job
Hi

We currently received your details and understand you are currently looking for a role. I wanted to take the opportunity to tell you about doing administration based work from home. Working from home can be pretty tough, working long hours and doing quite mundane tasks, however we can provide you with an excellent platform with maximum earning potential. The work would be full time or part time, and due to this current market for the product the work is readily available. If you were to work part time in the role we would expect a minimum of 10 hours commitment, otherwise it won’t be worth while. In regards to revenue of the product, you make up to about £35,000 per annum if you are committing yourself to a minimum of 40 hours a week, working out at approximately £17 per hour.

If your are interested in this role, please respond to this email, and we can get the ball moving. This going well you could start post receiving training materials within the next day or two.

Regards

HR

...Is this real? anyone else in the unemployment line received an email like this and questioned its legitimacy?

What is the job role? ...........what's the catch more like?

I'm a sittin duck

....thats what I am right now coz I've lost my Blackberry data cable so I cant update my shizzle and upload some dope pics that help tell my stories......

this is what's missing in my life.....

*Sigh

Summer = ol'skool Garage

When I think summer - I instantly think of Ol'skool garage. 1998 I was 15 and used to sit in my room revising to pirate radio being hypnotised by dirrty bass lines, deep synths and sexy vocals.

These song takes me back - they are part of my culturing and remind me of the good ol days! They are shear classics, in the car, crib or club!

have a listen...


my fav



love this



cant live with out this tune



ahhhh



we cant forget them...cos their still going!


I GARAGE!!!

It's my perogative!

....Occasionally I meet a guy I like; they make me laugh, we get on well, there's a nice chemistry, we have lots in common and then I get excited and forget what they look like - that's when I'm actually a bit interested in a guy, when I cant remember his mug!

HELL YES I like to make fuck - but just coz I have sexy curves, big boobs, flick my wild hair left to right and am nice to you does not mean I want to fuck you...sorry, especially not after just 6 days....does that make me a prude??
...I have to admit I'm a terrible flirt in the sense that I'm doing it even without thinking about it - I don't mean to but I'm just naturally cheerleader-like bubbly and glad to meet new people. I've been told I have naughty, come hither eyes but really their just big Indian eyes and I'm just a good girl with values and morals (kinda)

I like to spend time to get to know new men in my life a bit better so I know their not a psycho, they practises good hygiene and that their just not general assholes.........nevertheless maybe, just maybe I'm being a little naive coz I came round to your house, sat in your room, on your bed (well im not sittin on the floor)and wore a skirt longish highlighting my phwwooarrr legs.....I know wgat it looks like, I kinda invited your wandering hands on to my body which felt nice but if I say no to you, I mean no! I know I can be a durrty tease and it's a shame (no I ain't apologising), I left you with blue balls oops *giggle, but know that just cos that girl did it with you - don't mean I will! And now that you haven't attempted to get in contact ...it's now been 4 days with no word and I don't feel like I've lost out :)

Oh and for the record, just cos I say no, it don't mean I'm a virgin, frigid or that I'm tryna fall in love with you (get over yourself) or that I'm not interested either
....is it so rare for a girl to keep her pants on when a fit guy is involved? What happened to leaving a little mystery? you know romance?....no?? fresh and sexy? Is it that strange for a girl not to put out after 6 days......??????

I'm lovin' it!

* repeat, repeat - lol - repeat

LOVE Hov - moment of silence .....nuff said.

W-WICKKY-W-WICKKY-W-WAW!

What will they think of next? Ok, it wasnt rocket science and is a natural progression of Gutair hero to DJ Hero, which is the latest artistically creative game to be scooped up and make the fat cats richer!

"The makers of Guitar Hero introduce an entirely fresh and innovative way to experience music..."

...tada!

...ohhh

...ahh

But I aint hating, this is wonderful :) I've always wanted to have a go at DJ'in and I'm not the greatest at Guitar Hero - Damnit me fingers are just too short and stubby for that handle. Using a turntable controller, you spin and scratch songs and you can create your own mixes and become the life of the party....Sweet Me! - you can catch me sporting a white furry Kangol hat and shades, fat gold chain and fish-bone hoops, shell toes and a RUN-DMC T-shirt!!!

It even supports the Guitar from guitar hero and you can have hours of fun playing DJ and Gutiar modes with your friends and online.

I can imagine gamers new and ol'skool, going crazy and spending hours on this thinking they got it down cos they reached the expert level and then got kicked down in their prime by some dude in China - dont fuck with them! You can only pre-order in the USA and...the USA a the mo damnit - but its "Coming Soon" to the UK.

.....there's only one real DJ Hero to me!

check out the site http://www.djhero.com/

I'm well proud to call you my mate!

...Hot from the BBC Press Office

Dev serves up weekend breakfast on Radio 1

"BBC Radio 1 has announced that Dev, who currently presents early breakfast on BBC 1Xtra, is moving across to Radio 1 to take on the weekend breakfast show"

HOORAY!!!!

"Twenty-four-year-old Dev replaces Nick Grimshaw who has moved to evenings on the network.
Dev has been at 1Xtra since the station launched in 2002 – first presenting a Saturday show with Reggie Yates, and then hosting his own weekend show before early weekday breakfast"

Ben Cooper, Deputy Controller, Radio 1 & 1Xtra, says: "BBC 1Xtra is a fantastic place for new presenters to establish themselves and Dev has done just that. I'm keen for talent to grow on 1Xtra and move through to Radio 1 so I'm delighted to welcome him on board."

Congratulations to Dev on this massive step in your career - I've seen him work harder than any 24-year-old I know and reach his goals. Early mornings, late nights, juggling radio, extra shifts, producing music, college, gigs (yep he's in a band too - Left Step Band) and with those looks - but of course! Proving that anything you put your mind to is possible. Dev starts on weekend breakfast on Radio 1 in July. But if you cant wait and wanna hear Dev now, tune into BBC 1Xtra (digital or online) weekday early mornings 6am-8am.

Listen in and support British talent at it's finest!

........Well done darling!x

Me I set records

..."For the quickest dismissal from a job" Yep, I have been diss and dismissed from my temp position at the Brent Council....it was all based on unfounded ground and defo some shady moves....but of course!!

Why you ask???

"I didn't fit in with the team"

"The Team" is made up for three people including myself, some quiet conformist and my team leader. This is the same Team Leader I mentioned in my earlier post "...I spoke to soon".
What I should have been told was that my systematic - OTT, hype, I wear matching ties and cuff links, in secret I make balloon displays and touch myself, I'm a freak-loser - Team Leader, couldn't handle a person like me who is outspoken, asks questions and is too confident to join his factory line style work - FUCK THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have been out of full time work for a year, A YEAR!!!!! I went in there did my work and was so appreciative to be paid again that i just got on with things! I wasn't rude, disrespectful or out of line like he made me out to be. And because he soooo systematic and has been there for +6years, people don't argue with him, more praise him for following the rules so perfectly...I digress. I wrote a nice long email to the Manager above Team Manager and expressed my thoughts which I couldn't do yesterday cos I was too upset - *tear!

....If he's the God fearing man he makes out to be then all I can say is Karma is a bitch, Trust me he will get his just deserts! So I'm, back in the unemployment line at the Job Centre, filling out applications and doing temp work, my unemployed people's stand up!!!!

*sigh! Me, I am sad but I don't ever stay down for long *smiles

...Clearly it just means I'm destined for bigger and better things that are coming my way right abooooouut.......NOW!!!

...just for laughs!

.......hehehehehehe

If they had one with my mum or dad on it, I might be freaked out enough not to do it, but until then, wrap it up before you smack it up!

2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 11, 12, 14, 17, 20

No im not playing Bingo...these are my favorite tracks off Eminem's hugely anticipated 4th album Relapse. I was so excited when this came out I actually went to a HMV - ol'skool- and bought a CD, which btw hasn't seen the light of day since I put it in the CD player in my car.

This album is The Shit! It is estimated to have sold 650,000 copies in its first week blah blah blah. All I can say is that's a lot of pressure money to drive you straight back to your expensive habit....sorry my inner Em is surfacing but lets be frank, on this album you cant run from the fact that Eminem had a drug problem but he's back and might I add looking finner than ever!!!!

The album isn't every ones taste and Em's poetic tales of; being subject to ass rapin from his step father, drugged by his mother and inflicting a torturous death on a helpless women, Patrick Bateman style.... make you second guess that the album title is in fact a cry for help! Every song is rapped a little differently which keeps it fresh but his flow and lyrics are stronger and funnier than ever and if you appreciate tongue and cheek humour then you will enjoy Relapse. His tales of drug addiction pour out on Beautiful. Listen out for Ken Kaniff which is a nice throwback to The Slim Shady LP and the Christopher Reeds feature on Medicine Ball - well lets just say I nearly crashed my car laughing so hard!


If you haven't coped it yet, then you're missing out! Seriously! I know we all tend to download but support music and buy CD's (occassionally). Tesco's is doing a deal for £8.93 **FREE** delivery, you have no excuses!

Let me know your favourite tracks ......I know I have a lot but Fuck it, I love all of them!

5 Gold Elephants :)